Cast off the Weight

When I was a child I loved rocks. If we were out for a family hike, the rock collecting would commence within one hundred yards from the where we started. Each unique rock I found I would pick up and put in one of my pockets. The problem was that as a young child many rocks were deemed worthy of being added to my collection. Pretty soon my pockets were full. The weight of each addition added up and eventually my rocks grew too heavy for me. I had to let some go just so I could continue walking. I would carefully look through my stash and determine which were worthy of bringing along for the remainder of the hike.

What does your collection look like these days? Are you being weighed down by the troubles in the world around us? Are you feeling weary and burdened? Don't worry, friend. You don't have to bring every burden along with you on this earthly walk. In fact there is one who is able to carry it all for you! The same God that created the world with mere words is walking alongside you and ready to take on your troubles. He is there to take up our collection of earthly troubles and exchange it for perfect peace!

Isaiah 40:28-31 (EHV)
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the eternal God.
He is the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired, and he will not become weary.
No one can find a limit to his understanding.
He is the one who gives strength to the weak,
and he increases the strength of those who lack power.
Young men grow tired and become weary.
Even strong men stumble and fall.
But those who wait for the LORD will receive new strength.
They will lift up their wings and soar like eagles.
They will run and not become weary.
They will walk and not become tired.

We are all being called upon to wait on the Lord. It isn't an easy task to sit back and wait, but look at what happens when we do. We will receive new strength. We will soar. And look what doesn't happen. We will not become weary. We will not become tired. Cast your burdens to him who alone has the strength to carry us all through this trouble.

Where Do You Look for Help?

Psalm 121 (EHV)
I lift my eyes to the mountains.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot stumble.
He who watches over you will not slumber.
Yes, he who watches over Israel will not slumber.
He will not sleep.
The LORD watches over you.
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun will not strike you by day,
nor the moon at night.
The LORD will watch to keep you from harm.
He will watch over your life.
The LORD will watch over your going and coming
from now to eternity.

There is no denying it. We are living through an unprecedented time right now. The virus that has taken over the world is taking over our daily lives too. In America we are bracing for the impact this sickness could have on our country. We are watching the countries that have gone before us and using their information to try and lessen the impact COVID-19 has on our population. The unknown of all of this can be very scary.
Where do you find yourself going to get the answers to the unknowns? In the beginning I found myself looking at the news stories that were being fired off constantly by the media. What major event was being canceled now? How many cases were we looking at in our area? But really all these stories are telling us is what people think is happening now, not what the future holds.
Do you find yourself endlessly scrolling social media to see how others are responding? Are you looking to your peers to help direct your decisions in this time of seeming disaster? Yet the feeds of other people are merely a reflection of our society at the moment not a clear cut answer to what the future holds.
Perhaps you find yourself looking to the government for answers and direction. It is no doubt the government's job to help lead us as a nation. To set in place policies that will hopefully help guide its people through these uncharted waters. Our elected officials are trying to do their best, but they don't have the all of the answers or control.
The psalm tells us exactly where we should be looking for help. We can look to the LORD, the Maker of the universe, for our help. Our heavenly Father not only knows what we are experiencing right now, he also knows how all of this will end. He has the answers that we are searching for. Our loving LORD will boldly protect us in all circumstances including this time of sickness and instability.
I have found that in difficult times the devil doesn't have to work very hard to get me to look for answers in all of the wrong places. To combat this temptation, I like to surround myself with God's promises. Think of the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (EHV) "These words that I am commanding you today are to be on your heart. Teach them diligently to your children, and speak about them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as a sign on your wrists, and they will serve as symbols on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates." Hang scripture around your home. Read Christian books and publications. Listen to Christian music. Share God's promises with those around you. Look to the LORD and not to your fears.
Let's place our hope in the almighty God who is strong to save. Let's point others to the one who does have all of the answers!

Round Two of Taxol

This week Tuesday I went in for my second round of the chemo drug Taxol. All of my lab numbers looked great. What a blessing to have my body rebound so well from these treatments. This time a dear friend from 8th grade and high school came to sit with me. It was so great to be able to catch up and chat. The four hours that I was in the chair went by so quickly. She also was able to give me an oncology massage as we sat there as well as thoughtful cards and gifts from classmates. My parents were at the home front while I was at the cancer center and also helped out for a few extra days. I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the various ways people have been helping us out during these months.
All went well with the infusion and I have been feeling fairly well in the days following. I do have the joint aches again and a bit of fatigue. Thankfully I have yet to have any of the nephropathy that many have with Taxol. And I still am the proud owner of 10 fingernails and 10 toenails.

Some have inquired of how I feel with all that is going on in our world and Clovid-19. I probably am at a bit of a higher risk with my treatment affecting my immune system. However, I am reminding myself that the same loving heavenly Father who has been with us on my breast cancer journey is with us now. He continues to look over us and want what is best for us. Our family will continue with the extra hand washing and clothes changing and trying to limit the amount of germs I am exposed to. We will move forward in faith, prayer, and trust and try to make wise decisions.

Over Halfway There

The three big kids graduated from CLIMB. It was a wonderful program that they all loved.

On Wednesday I received my fifth of eight rounds of chemotherapy. The remaining rounds we are changing things up to the drug Taxol. I am on a dense dose, which means I will be getting more of the drug over a smaller period of time. I am very happy to report that besides having some fatigue and joint and muscle pain, I have been feeling pretty good. What a wonderful blessing! 

Enjoying snuggles with my "baby."

I am feeling that the end of chemotherapy is in sight. The wonderful spring-like weather we have been enjoying is also a mood lifter for sure!

We have been spoiled with the meals that caring friends have been sharing with us!

My labs have all been looking good, another blessing! I am praying this continues to be the case with the new drug. Also, we are trying this round without the white blood cell boosting drug, Neulasta. The hope is that my body has enough time between doses to maintain its own white blood cell count.

T-Shirt Day at school!

With this entire journey I have tried to turn to the Lord and his plan. This was a Bible passage that has been on my heart the last few days, "A person's heart plans his way, but the Lord makes his steps secure." Proverbs 16:9 EHV None of this was in our plans for this year, but the Lord has carried us and continues to keep his gracious hand over us.

Chemo Therapy Round Four

On Wednesday, February 12, I went in for chemo round number four. This round is the last of the AC combo of medicines. (A is for Adriamycin and C is for cyclophosphamide.) The next four rounds a drug called taxol will be administered. Did you know that breast cancer is a bit of a generic term? There are many different types and with each type and stage a different regimen can be prescribed. I am so thankful for all of the knowledge the oncology field has gained throughout the years. 

As with all of the other rounds, I first went in for blood work to keep an eye on all of my counts, and followed that with a visit with my oncologist. Both the blood work and the doctor visit left us feeling very good. That the treatment is doing just what we want it to be doing and that my body is still handling it very well. More rich blessings from our heavenly father. 
As I checked in for these appointments, I was informed that I had a huge pile of card and gifts waiting for me. What?! Sure enough, I had two large boxes and a large gift bag to bring home with me. Out church and school showered us with cards, gift cards, fun and practical items. What a joy to feel all of that love as I went in for another treatment. The Lord working through his people, once again.

All went well with the treatments. I had my dear friends and sister-in-law, Jenny, there for help and support. Since the kids were all still gone when we got home, we snuck in a walk in the falling snow. The next day was another good day! Praise the Lord. It was also our little man's sixth birthday. So good to feel well enough to celebrate with him.

Valentine's Day, yesterday, wasn't as kind to me, but that is to be expected. I know that there will be some days when I don't feel well, but by now I can also anticipate the good days to follow. I slept a lot yesterday and last night and am feeling better so far today.

Prepping for Chemo Round Four

Do you like to color? I have been enjoying it lately. It is calming and easy to pick up and put down.

Tomorrow I go in for round four of chemo. This is the last round with one drug combination and then it will be on to four rounds with another "recipe". I can't quite put my finger on why, but have been feeling a bit more anxious looking ahead to this round. It's probably a combination of knowing a bit too much how it will make me feel and that the newness has just plain worn off. The first rounds, while not looking forward to them, I was more psyched up to get this fight started. Maybe this round is like the Wednesday of chemo for me? Just get over the hump and then cruise to the weekend.
This weekend and the beginning of the week we all worked ahead a bit to be all set for the next round. The kids and I finished their Valentines for school. I made a cake and wrapped gifts for the little mister. He turns six this week! I cleaned, washed lots of loads of laundry, and cooked protein for me for the days ahead.

A sweet friend invited us over for Valentine's Day fun this weekend. We had a great time!

I am blessed once again in having help here for chemo day and the days that follow. One of my closest girlfriends (who happens to be my sister-in-law) is coming to be a companion and helper for us all.
As I finish today and think about tomorrow I am focusing on these words from Philippians:
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I will try to let go with my weak human hands, but instead turn it over to the one who is strong to save.

Chemo Therapy Round #3

As of last Wednesday, Chemo round #3 is in the books. This should put me at over a third done with chemo. (Barring any unforeseen changes or surprises.) While everything went well, it is definitely taking more time to recover from this round. I was still feeling the effects over the weekend with nausea and fatigue. Thankfully, I am feeling pretty well today, just bit shaky yet.

My new "put on/take off" hair. Aka my wig.

The weather this weekend was beautiful and I was able to take a walk outside on Sunday. The sunshine and fresh air felt so so good. It also reminded me that like the seasons in nature, this is just a short season I am currently walking through. In time this trial will be over and I will be out on the other side like spring after a snowy and cold winter.
 I felt well enough to help out in the kitchen preparing a Super Bowl snack supper. I always love a good excuse to make apps for supper. I may not have stayed awake for the entire game, but it was a fun family evening just the same.

Super Bowl Picnic Snack Supper

I was remarking to Matt this weekend how good it feels to be able to just do the normal things in life. Isn't it funny how when we are living life we dream of a good relaxing weekend just lazing about, but when our bodies force us into resting, it is hard to give in? I guess it just proves that moderation is really the key to feeling our best. That and normalcy. As humans our routines and habits are really comforting, especially in a time of uncertainty.

These two were a bit fascinated with the half-time show. 🙈

This round my parents were here to hang out with me and help me out with the household tasks and children. I have had such amazing help for each step of the way. It has is been so easy to see the Lord's hand in orchestrating even the smallest details.
A week ago I was able to go and pick up some "put on, take off hair" what Miss Three calls my wig. When researching wigs, I discovered that our local trade school has a wig bank for cancer patients. I was able to go to their student salon and look through 100s of donated wigs to pick one out. Then the student that I was working with styled the wig for me. I don't wear it often, but it is nice to have the option if I choose.

I am also now the proud owner of a pre-tied turban. (I just don't have the skills to tie my own.)

Now I am looking forward to my off week enjoying the little things in my life. Even doing the laundry isn't such a bad thing if it means that I am feeling well enough to. 😀