Active Treatment Complete!

We didn't get a picture of me ringing the bell, but I like this one, too. ;)

My active treatment for breast cancer is complete! Such a great sentence to be able to say. When my oncologist first discussed my course of treatment the finish line seemed so far off. Even after chemo and surgery, the 25 rounds of radiation seemed far off. But last week Friday I completed my 25th round and got to ring the Cancer Center bell to signify the end.

Great words to read on my medical papers.

The next step is a five year plan of hormone therapy. My tumor was estrogen and progesterone positive, which means it was feeding off of these two hormones that our bodies produce. To help prevent re-occurrence I will be receiving a medicine to prevent my ovaries from making estrogen and another one to block any other estrogen occurring in my body. Today I went to the Cancer center and received a short infusion of a drug that helps prevent bone lose due to the lack of estrogen. I also received my first shot of the ovary suppression drug and started my oral pill to block further estrogen. (I had one of my favorite chemo nurses for my infusion and she was training in a new nurse. We figured out that the new nurse had been one of my nurses for my surgery. Maybe a sign that I have been hanging around the hospital a bit too much.)

His mercies are new every morning!

There are of course some possible side-effects that can come from these drugs, but the fact that they are available to help in my cancer fight is a blessing that I will try not to take for granted. Throughout this journey the Lord has provided me with such good results, I will pray that they continue for the years to come.

A sweet friend blessed these kiddos with all of these wonderful Usborne books.

I can't imagine going through this journey without the wonderful support that I have received. The constant prayers that were offered on my behalf were truly answered in such positive ways. My body's amazing response to all that was thrown at it this year can only be from a divine source. While many days brought challenges, my days were also filled with blessings.

While our times continue to be uncertain on this side of heaven, rest assured, dear ones, that God is busy preparing a perfect home for each one of us in heaven. These words from Psalm 73 have been and remain a wonderful reminder.

Radiation Begins

All gowned up and ready for the treatment table.

Friends, I have been a bit quiet over the last few months. I didn’t feel that sharing the details of my little story were all that important with everything else that is going on in the world right now.  It truly felt like being over dramatic and egocentric. Then I realized that my story really isn’t about me at all. Really none of our stories are, are they? Instead our lives are being orchestrated for a divine purpose that is so much greater than our little blip on the eternal map. And while that may sound demeaning, it is actually the opposite. God is crafting our story to fit into His story. That doesn’t seem so unimportant anymore. Maybe in sharing this chapter in my life I am allowing the Lord to work through me.

Out for a daytime adventure with the kids.

I am almost completely recovered from my surgery. I still have a bit of restricted motion on that side due to something called cording. I am super thankful that through occupational therapy I was able to really improve the comfort and mobility in my right arm. Another thing to be thankful for is no sign of lymphedema at this point.

My screening sticker collection. Every morning on my way into the Cancer Center I receive a sticker to show that I have been screened. I decided that I would keep all of my stickers from radiation as a countdown of sorts.

For two weeks now I have been going in for radiation therapy. I go every weekday morning for a quick appointment. I am grateful that we live so close to the cancer center! I am also thankful that Matt continues to work from home and can be with the kids every morning. God is truly in all of the details! So far radiation is going well. I haven’t noticed any side effects yet and still have my normal energy levels and no skin irritation.

We are still streaming our church from home and this is what happened the other morning during the service.

Moving forward I will continue radiation for another 3 weeks. After I have completed radiation I meet with my medical oncologist to begin hormone therapy. I will either be on a daily pill or a combination of injection and infusion for the next five years. Either way, these treatments will block my body from making estrogen one of the things my tumor was growing from. This therapy should help me to have less of a chance of recurrence.

I go for a walk/jog everyday. This was the scene that greeted me on a path one morning. They were a little too brave in my opinion, but it was very neat to see.

Surgery

Me and My "baby"

After completing my last round of chemo it was time to let my body heal for surgery. I was a little concerned with the COVID precautions that my surgery would be postponed, but it all went according to our original timeline. About 2 weeks following my final chemo I had another MRI to map out the tumor and nodes following treatment. After that I had a virtual appointment with my surgeon to go over surgery options and formulate a plan.

Love this family of mine!

Together we decided to go with a lumpectomy verses a mastectomy and to begin with a targeted lymph node biopsy verses a complete dissection. (The targeted approach would involve removing the sentinel (front running) lymph nodes and biopsy them in surgery. If they were cancer free we wouldn't remove any more lymph nodes. If they did contain cancer we would remove all of the axillary (underarm) lymph nodes.) My surgery would be able to take place in an area of the hospital that they were taking extra precautions to minimize the chances of being exposed to COVID while being hospitalized.

The week before surgery we were able to do a donut drive through at the school!

I had several pre-op appointments including an ultrasound to ensure that the clip placed in December with the biopsy could still be located in the lymph node. I also would go in a few days prior to the procedure to be tested for COVID. The clip was located, the test was negative, and I had a date for surgery.
The morning of surgery Matt dropped me off and I began my day at the hospital. After getting checked in and gowned up I was taken to the breast cancer center and wires were placed to help locate both the tumor and biopsied lymph node in surgery. After a mammogram I was back in my pre-op room where I received some tracer injections to help in locating the sentinel lymph nodes. Once the OR was ready I was wheeled in and put under.

All dressed up and waiting to go in.

Upon awaking I was informed that cancer was found in the sentinel nodes and a complete dissection had been performed. Not what I had hoped for, but I am happy that we started with that and were certain it was what needed to be done. I recovered at the hospital for a few hours and then Matt was able to come and pick me up. It was a long day at the hospital, but it was nice to be able to return home the same day.
The next day I heard from my surgeon who had received the pathology report. The targeted lymph node biopsy found 3 of 4 nodes to contain cancer and another node was found to be cancerous with axillary dissection. She said that the tumor itself was not super defined thanks to receiving preoperative chemotherapy. They did however report clean margins. (This means that there were healthy cells around any cancerous cells that they removed.)
I have been taking it easy in order to let my body recover. I have two incisions, one for each location, as well as a drain. I will most likely go in this week sometime to have the drain removed. (It will feel good to get that out!) Physically I am feeling pretty well. My arm is a bit sore and I am limiting what I do with it. Emotionally I am a feeling it. I think it is a combination of my body healing and the effects of anesthesia.
Next week I meet again with my oncologist to map out the rest of our plan. I am thinking that it will involve radiation to ensure that all of the cancer cells are gone.
Again, I am so grateful for the peace that God has granted me in all of this. Going into surgery I felt calm and ready for the next step. We are also thankful for excellent medical care just down the road from our house. It was a blessing for Matt to be able to zip down to drop me off and pick me up. We are also so blessed through everyone's kind thoughts, prayers, and actions! We continue to feel our Savior's love through his people.
While this is not the road that we pictured walking, it is the road that God had planned for our family. His constant care and provision has been such a welcome blessing to us all!

Last Chemo Treatment in the Books!

It's official!

On Wednesday I went in for my last chemo infusion! What a wonderful sentence to be able to say. When I was staring down 16 weeks of unknown chemo this point seemed so far away. But, as with so many big journeys, bit by bit, week by week, the time slowly chipped away. And now it is hard to believe that I am here right now. I have been saying that I will count it as officially done in about a week when I am no longer feeling the side effects. What a blessed day that will be!
I know I have said it before, but I am so thankful that chemo went so well for me. When you hear of all of the possible side effects and when you hear of what others experience while they are receiving chemo, it is daunting. Thankfully my body was able to tolerate my medicines with very minimal lasting effects. However, it also appears that my chemo was very successful in shrinking my tumor. Another wonderful reason to praise the Lord.

The amazing quilt some dear friends made for me.

The Lord has also blessed me and our family with so much love and support over the last 4 months. I cannot believe the outpouring we have received! From cards and messages, to prayers and gifts, we are so humbled by it all. Here is one small example. When I was driving home from the cancer center on Wednesday, I noticed extra cars on our street. As I pulled in to our driveway I saw that the cars were for me. Some dear friends had come to decorate the yard and driveway and shower me with socially distant love. So, so amazing! I only pray that we can reflect all of this love back to others.

My socially distant welcome home!

The next step will be to get imaging of the effected areas and see what we are looking at now. Then I meet (virtually) with my surgeon to discuss the surgery plan. I don't have a surgery date at this time, but I am thinking it will be at the end of the month. (God willing as so many things are uncertain with healthcare at this time. I am reminding myself that it will all be in his perfect timing.)

Some of the awesome chalk art in our driveway,

I am thinking of you all and praying you are all doing well in this uncertain time. Remember that the Lord is still on his throne. The same loving God who gave up his Son that we might be redeemed is walking beside us. He is going before us and directing our paths however crazy they feel to us at this time. Stay safe friends. Stay strong. Be the light in this darker time.

So Close! (Second to last chemo is done!)

Yesterday I went in for round 7 of 8 of my chemo infusions! I was a bit anxious to see if for some reason it would get postponed, but nope. Our state may be on a shelter at home order, but chemo must go on! In some ways it was a bit of a different experience from two weeks ago due to the Covid outbreak, and in some ways it was the same.

To begin with, I drive right by a drive through testing site to get to the Cancer Center. Thankfully our area hasn't been hit too hard yet, so it has been quiet the times I have driven past. However, they are ready with lots of traffic control and staff ready to go. In some ways it is comforting to know they are ready for it and in others it really makes this all seem more real. When I got to the center there was a nurse at the door to perform a Clovid screening before you could check in. It involved a temperature check and some questions. Once you pass you are given a sticker for the day to let everyone know that you have been screened.The waiting area has also changed with spaced out chairs and no reading materials. There were less people waiting as they have gone to selected care and in person visits. Also, they are no longer allowing visitors. After being called back to the treatment area, nothing much had changed. There were fewer patients, and again, no visitors. The nurses also were all wearing masks the entire time.

Even Hulu had to remind me about Covid!

Since I was there by myself I brought along plenty to occupy my time in the chair. I did some reading, talked on the phone, and watched a little Hulu on my laptop. My infusions are taking about 4 hours these rounds and really the time went fairly quickly. Since we aren't going anywhere these days and since all six of us are at home, it actually was a nice quiet break. (The chairs have heaters and massagers and I get to order a meal. It is almost like a spa day. 😂) I had a nurse that I have had one other time and it was good to talk to her about everything that is going on.

I was able to sit in my favorite bay, #6. I think I have had four of my seven infusions here.

Everything went very well. All of my labs still look great. I take this as a huge blessing. I get to see many other cancer patients while I am at the center and it really makes me so thankful that my treatment is going so smoothly for me. Cancer and its treatment can cause so many different side effects and complications. The Lord has blessed me with such a smooth and uncomplicated treatment path.

I always ask the nurse to turn my chair to face the window. It is such a great view of the lake. This time I could watch ducks flying and fog rolling in.

After treatment I felt a bit worn out, but otherwise well. If this round follows my previous two with Taxol, I should be feeling pretty well with some body aches setting in around day four and five. I am so thankful that this drug has given me less down days.

My "spa" chair.

I was able to schedule all of the appointments for my last round of chemo while I was there! I can't believe that is where I am already. At the beginning it seems like such a long time, but as with many things in life, when you get in the routine it doesn't seem to take so long. After my last round of chemo the plan is to have surgery and then radiation. I am praying that all continues to go as planned and that Covid doesn't interrupt any of these plans, but I know that God has it all figured out. I am also praying for continued health for our family. Two of the kids had fevers and coughs last week. I have never washed my hands so much! I hope they don't have PTSD from me telling them to stay away from me!
I pray that you are all doing well and hanging in there! What a crazy time we are all living through right now. I hope that looking back this is just a small blip in our lives. I continue to remember that like my cancer diagnoses, this is not a surprise to our Lord. He continues to hold us all and carry us through this.

Cast off the Weight

When I was a child I loved rocks. If we were out for a family hike, the rock collecting would commence within one hundred yards from the where we started. Each unique rock I found I would pick up and put in one of my pockets. The problem was that as a young child many rocks were deemed worthy of being added to my collection. Pretty soon my pockets were full. The weight of each addition added up and eventually my rocks grew too heavy for me. I had to let some go just so I could continue walking. I would carefully look through my stash and determine which were worthy of bringing along for the remainder of the hike.

What does your collection look like these days? Are you being weighed down by the troubles in the world around us? Are you feeling weary and burdened? Don't worry, friend. You don't have to bring every burden along with you on this earthly walk. In fact there is one who is able to carry it all for you! The same God that created the world with mere words is walking alongside you and ready to take on your troubles. He is there to take up our collection of earthly troubles and exchange it for perfect peace!

Isaiah 40:28-31 (EHV)
Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the eternal God.
He is the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired, and he will not become weary.
No one can find a limit to his understanding.
He is the one who gives strength to the weak,
and he increases the strength of those who lack power.
Young men grow tired and become weary.
Even strong men stumble and fall.
But those who wait for the LORD will receive new strength.
They will lift up their wings and soar like eagles.
They will run and not become weary.
They will walk and not become tired.

We are all being called upon to wait on the Lord. It isn't an easy task to sit back and wait, but look at what happens when we do. We will receive new strength. We will soar. And look what doesn't happen. We will not become weary. We will not become tired. Cast your burdens to him who alone has the strength to carry us all through this trouble.

Where Do You Look for Help?

Psalm 121 (EHV)
I lift my eyes to the mountains.
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot stumble.
He who watches over you will not slumber.
Yes, he who watches over Israel will not slumber.
He will not sleep.
The LORD watches over you.
The LORD is your shade at your right hand.
The sun will not strike you by day,
nor the moon at night.
The LORD will watch to keep you from harm.
He will watch over your life.
The LORD will watch over your going and coming
from now to eternity.

There is no denying it. We are living through an unprecedented time right now. The virus that has taken over the world is taking over our daily lives too. In America we are bracing for the impact this sickness could have on our country. We are watching the countries that have gone before us and using their information to try and lessen the impact COVID-19 has on our population. The unknown of all of this can be very scary.
Where do you find yourself going to get the answers to the unknowns? In the beginning I found myself looking at the news stories that were being fired off constantly by the media. What major event was being canceled now? How many cases were we looking at in our area? But really all these stories are telling us is what people think is happening now, not what the future holds.
Do you find yourself endlessly scrolling social media to see how others are responding? Are you looking to your peers to help direct your decisions in this time of seeming disaster? Yet the feeds of other people are merely a reflection of our society at the moment not a clear cut answer to what the future holds.
Perhaps you find yourself looking to the government for answers and direction. It is no doubt the government's job to help lead us as a nation. To set in place policies that will hopefully help guide its people through these uncharted waters. Our elected officials are trying to do their best, but they don't have the all of the answers or control.
The psalm tells us exactly where we should be looking for help. We can look to the LORD, the Maker of the universe, for our help. Our heavenly Father not only knows what we are experiencing right now, he also knows how all of this will end. He has the answers that we are searching for. Our loving LORD will boldly protect us in all circumstances including this time of sickness and instability.
I have found that in difficult times the devil doesn't have to work very hard to get me to look for answers in all of the wrong places. To combat this temptation, I like to surround myself with God's promises. Think of the words of Deuteronomy 6:6-9 (EHV) "These words that I am commanding you today are to be on your heart. Teach them diligently to your children, and speak about them when you sit in your house and when you walk on the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as a sign on your wrists, and they will serve as symbols on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your houses and on your gates." Hang scripture around your home. Read Christian books and publications. Listen to Christian music. Share God's promises with those around you. Look to the LORD and not to your fears.
Let's place our hope in the almighty God who is strong to save. Let's point others to the one who does have all of the answers!

Round Two of Taxol

This week Tuesday I went in for my second round of the chemo drug Taxol. All of my lab numbers looked great. What a blessing to have my body rebound so well from these treatments. This time a dear friend from 8th grade and high school came to sit with me. It was so great to be able to catch up and chat. The four hours that I was in the chair went by so quickly. She also was able to give me an oncology massage as we sat there as well as thoughtful cards and gifts from classmates. My parents were at the home front while I was at the cancer center and also helped out for a few extra days. I cannot express enough how grateful I am for the various ways people have been helping us out during these months.
All went well with the infusion and I have been feeling fairly well in the days following. I do have the joint aches again and a bit of fatigue. Thankfully I have yet to have any of the nephropathy that many have with Taxol. And I still am the proud owner of 10 fingernails and 10 toenails.

Some have inquired of how I feel with all that is going on in our world and Clovid-19. I probably am at a bit of a higher risk with my treatment affecting my immune system. However, I am reminding myself that the same loving heavenly Father who has been with us on my breast cancer journey is with us now. He continues to look over us and want what is best for us. Our family will continue with the extra hand washing and clothes changing and trying to limit the amount of germs I am exposed to. We will move forward in faith, prayer, and trust and try to make wise decisions.

Over Halfway There

The three big kids graduated from CLIMB. It was a wonderful program that they all loved.

On Wednesday I received my fifth of eight rounds of chemotherapy. The remaining rounds we are changing things up to the drug Taxol. I am on a dense dose, which means I will be getting more of the drug over a smaller period of time. I am very happy to report that besides having some fatigue and joint and muscle pain, I have been feeling pretty good. What a wonderful blessing! 

Enjoying snuggles with my "baby."

I am feeling that the end of chemotherapy is in sight. The wonderful spring-like weather we have been enjoying is also a mood lifter for sure!

We have been spoiled with the meals that caring friends have been sharing with us!

My labs have all been looking good, another blessing! I am praying this continues to be the case with the new drug. Also, we are trying this round without the white blood cell boosting drug, Neulasta. The hope is that my body has enough time between doses to maintain its own white blood cell count.

T-Shirt Day at school!

With this entire journey I have tried to turn to the Lord and his plan. This was a Bible passage that has been on my heart the last few days, "A person's heart plans his way, but the Lord makes his steps secure." Proverbs 16:9 EHV None of this was in our plans for this year, but the Lord has carried us and continues to keep his gracious hand over us.

Chemo Therapy Round Four

On Wednesday, February 12, I went in for chemo round number four. This round is the last of the AC combo of medicines. (A is for Adriamycin and C is for cyclophosphamide.) The next four rounds a drug called taxol will be administered. Did you know that breast cancer is a bit of a generic term? There are many different types and with each type and stage a different regimen can be prescribed. I am so thankful for all of the knowledge the oncology field has gained throughout the years. 

As with all of the other rounds, I first went in for blood work to keep an eye on all of my counts, and followed that with a visit with my oncologist. Both the blood work and the doctor visit left us feeling very good. That the treatment is doing just what we want it to be doing and that my body is still handling it very well. More rich blessings from our heavenly father. 
As I checked in for these appointments, I was informed that I had a huge pile of card and gifts waiting for me. What?! Sure enough, I had two large boxes and a large gift bag to bring home with me. Out church and school showered us with cards, gift cards, fun and practical items. What a joy to feel all of that love as I went in for another treatment. The Lord working through his people, once again.

All went well with the treatments. I had my dear friends and sister-in-law, Jenny, there for help and support. Since the kids were all still gone when we got home, we snuck in a walk in the falling snow. The next day was another good day! Praise the Lord. It was also our little man's sixth birthday. So good to feel well enough to celebrate with him.

Valentine's Day, yesterday, wasn't as kind to me, but that is to be expected. I know that there will be some days when I don't feel well, but by now I can also anticipate the good days to follow. I slept a lot yesterday and last night and am feeling better so far today.

Prepping for Chemo Round Four

Do you like to color? I have been enjoying it lately. It is calming and easy to pick up and put down.

Tomorrow I go in for round four of chemo. This is the last round with one drug combination and then it will be on to four rounds with another "recipe". I can't quite put my finger on why, but have been feeling a bit more anxious looking ahead to this round. It's probably a combination of knowing a bit too much how it will make me feel and that the newness has just plain worn off. The first rounds, while not looking forward to them, I was more psyched up to get this fight started. Maybe this round is like the Wednesday of chemo for me? Just get over the hump and then cruise to the weekend.
This weekend and the beginning of the week we all worked ahead a bit to be all set for the next round. The kids and I finished their Valentines for school. I made a cake and wrapped gifts for the little mister. He turns six this week! I cleaned, washed lots of loads of laundry, and cooked protein for me for the days ahead.

A sweet friend invited us over for Valentine's Day fun this weekend. We had a great time!

I am blessed once again in having help here for chemo day and the days that follow. One of my closest girlfriends (who happens to be my sister-in-law) is coming to be a companion and helper for us all.
As I finish today and think about tomorrow I am focusing on these words from Philippians:
"Do not worry about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." I will try to let go with my weak human hands, but instead turn it over to the one who is strong to save.

Chemo Therapy Round #3

As of last Wednesday, Chemo round #3 is in the books. This should put me at over a third done with chemo. (Barring any unforeseen changes or surprises.) While everything went well, it is definitely taking more time to recover from this round. I was still feeling the effects over the weekend with nausea and fatigue. Thankfully, I am feeling pretty well today, just bit shaky yet.

My new "put on/take off" hair. Aka my wig.

The weather this weekend was beautiful and I was able to take a walk outside on Sunday. The sunshine and fresh air felt so so good. It also reminded me that like the seasons in nature, this is just a short season I am currently walking through. In time this trial will be over and I will be out on the other side like spring after a snowy and cold winter.
 I felt well enough to help out in the kitchen preparing a Super Bowl snack supper. I always love a good excuse to make apps for supper. I may not have stayed awake for the entire game, but it was a fun family evening just the same.

Super Bowl Picnic Snack Supper

I was remarking to Matt this weekend how good it feels to be able to just do the normal things in life. Isn't it funny how when we are living life we dream of a good relaxing weekend just lazing about, but when our bodies force us into resting, it is hard to give in? I guess it just proves that moderation is really the key to feeling our best. That and normalcy. As humans our routines and habits are really comforting, especially in a time of uncertainty.

These two were a bit fascinated with the half-time show. 🙈

This round my parents were here to hang out with me and help me out with the household tasks and children. I have had such amazing help for each step of the way. It has is been so easy to see the Lord's hand in orchestrating even the smallest details.
A week ago I was able to go and pick up some "put on, take off hair" what Miss Three calls my wig. When researching wigs, I discovered that our local trade school has a wig bank for cancer patients. I was able to go to their student salon and look through 100s of donated wigs to pick one out. Then the student that I was working with styled the wig for me. I don't wear it often, but it is nice to have the option if I choose.

I am also now the proud owner of a pre-tied turban. (I just don't have the skills to tie my own.)

Now I am looking forward to my off week enjoying the little things in my life. Even doing the laundry isn't such a bad thing if it means that I am feeling well enough to. 😀

How We Are Helping Our Children Deal with My Breast Cancer

When we first found out that I had breast cancer, we knew we wanted to keep open communication with our children. We wanted them to feel comfortable in asking us questions and in expressing how they were feeling about it. And while we didn't want to keep it from them, we also have chosen to shield them a bit from the big wild world of cancer. We don't feel that they need to know all of the possible side effects of the treatment I am receiving. We will deal with those as they come along.

As soon as we told the kids they knew that cancer was something that you can die from. (Thanks to my prolific readers and the children's book series the Penderwicks.) We reassured them that I will be receiving the medicine that I need to help give me the best chance of beating the disease. We also have relied heavily on our faith and sharing that this is God's plan with them. That God is in control and will be with us every step of the way. That they can take all of their thoughts and cares to their loving Savior in prayer. Having a Christian community surrounding and supporting our entire family has been such a blessing for us all. Knowing that their teachers and classmates can reassure them with God's promises in his word provides such comfort.

We have also chosen to enroll our oldest three kids in C.L.I.M.B. It is a wonderful program that they attend one evening a week with other children whose lives are being impacted by cancer. They have learned about chemo, radiation, and even seen cancer cells under a microscope. Each week they discuss a feeling and will do activities surrounding those feelings. They have all enjoyed the sessions they have attended and are looking forward to the remaining C.L.I.M.B. evenings.

Around my first chemo session we enlisted the kids' help in making hand washing signs to post around the house. These signs are really reminders for them, but because they helped, it gave them a sense of ownership. We have also added a few chores to their to-do lists. And because they are being asked to help out a bit more around the house, they are now receiving an allowance in proportion to the chores they complete.

I would also say that while this is a big part of our lives right now, we are choosing not to let it be the main focus. We are keeping life as normal as we possibly can.
So many wonderful people have stepped up to help us out with our kids. I am often reminded of the phrase, "it takes a village." Right now is a time in our lives where we need some extra help and support and our village has stepped up in a big way. I can totally see the hand of God in all of the people helping us, praying for us, and encouraging us on this journey.

Losing My Hair from Chemo

I took one last picture before it really started to come out.

 Losing your hair is a given for many being treated with chemo. Sure, there are a few rare patients who don't lose their hair, but I was told before treatment that one of the drugs I would be given was a sure route to a bald head.
I was expecting to start losing my hair after round two, but it actually started a few days earlier. I would run my hands through my hair and come away with more strands than usual. The next day I could pull larger amounts out. At first it was a bit fascinating, but it did get a bit gross after few days. Lots of hair all over, especially in the shower. We decided at that point it was time to buzz it short. We set up in the bathroom and Matt got out the hair clippers. The kids all looked on as I got my cancer haircut. Even though I felt like I had already lost a lot, I still had a way to go. Over the next few days fewer and fewer hairs remained on my head. Now, a week after round two, I have just a light fuzz remaining.

Post chemo hair cut

When I was first diagnosed I thought that losing my hair would be traumatic. I knew that once it went I would carry around a sure sign to all that I was sick and in treatment. Thankfully, the actual process has been less emotional for me than I had thought. It was almost a relief to get that point and face it.
At times I wear a buff head wrap or a hat while at home, but often I will just go bare headed. It is a bit of a family joke how my head looks. When I was a baby I had fine blonde hair that often stood up around my head. I feel like I have reverted back to that first hair style.

Rocking the buff. (Can you see the fuzz peeking over the top?)

As the hair lose occurred I was reminded of this Bible passage:

Matthew 10:29-31

29 “Are not two sparrows sold for a small coin?[a] Yet not one of them will fall to the ground without the knowledge and consent of your Father. 30 And even the hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So do not be afraid. You are worth more than many sparrows."

My loving heavenly Father knew the exact number of hairs I would lose. He even knew the exact moment they would begin to fall out. And if he is in control over all of those minor details, he is also in control of the major ones. I am his child and he cares so much for me. (And you!)

Second Round of Chemo

Last week Wednesday I went in for my second round of chemo treatment. My sister from California had flown in the night before and was able to come with me and keep me company. (And bonus, she gets to stay for 2 weeks! We are all being spoiled by having Auntie Ya around. She is providing a great buffer for me and Miss 3 as she has another virus with a fever.)

All of the results from my blood draw looked great that morning. Before each round I get my labs drawn to look at things like my white blood cell count and my platelet count along with many other numbers that I know nothing about. All of these can be negatively affected by the treatment, so they want to make sure that I am able to receive treatment and don't need any other augmentation. I am so grateful that my body seems to be handling the chemo very well.
I also received the results of my genetic testing which was looking at the 12 known markers for breast cancer. More great news! I tested negative on all 12! At this time, this would indicate that I will receive a lumpectomy following chemo instead of a double mastectomy. Wonderful news!
The treatment went much the same as round one. All of the meds were delivered in about 2 hours through my port. And then home we went.

We chilled at home for a few hours and then I coerced my California blooded sister to join me in a winter walk. It felt good to be in the fresh outdoor air, even if our legs started tingling. That evening I wasn't feeling all that great, which had me a bit worried for how hard this round would hit me. Thankfully, that night I slept well, in part thanks to a new sleeping med prescription I had received that day, and felt much better in the morning. I still felt a bit rough for the next few days, but by Sunday was feeling much more myself. Such a blessing to be able to bounce back as quickly as I have.
One of the major side-effects is that my hair is 90% gone. I will write a separate post on that, but it started right before the second round and quickly finished up a few days following it.

Chemo Therapy Round One

Christmas was wonderful, but I was anxious to get home and finally get started on treating this cancer growing in my body. That seemed like an odd feeling to be having. I could see dread or fear, but I just wanted to stop thinking about it and start acting on it. Matt and I left the kids at his parents' house with his mom and dad and sister so we could focus on getting treatment started.
We were able to enjoy a meal out together and a quiet night in before we had our mandatory chemotherapy education class the following day. So many questions were answered in that nurse led class. We brought home yet another folder of information and were able to tour the cancer center where I would be receiving treatment. We learned that my sessions would last around 2 hours following blood work and an appointment with the oncologist.

I would go in the next morning and start my day full of appointments that would eventually end with my first round of chemo. I started my day with a baseline echo cardiogram to ensure my heart could handle the powerful chemo drugs. I then had my port accessed for blood work and after the labs were in I met with my oncologist. The echo and labs looked good and I was all set to start. My nurse from the education class the day before ended up being my chemo nurse for the day. It was so nice to have a familiar face to start my treatment with.
I had my treatment chair turned toward the window so that I could look out and enjoy the beautiful and bright winter view. I got all cozy with a warm blanket and settled in with Matt in my treatment area for a second set of ears and support. (A note on warm blankets: If you are ever going through any tests or treatments and they offer you a warm blanket, the answer is always yes! Being wrapped in a warm blanket feels so comforting. The nervous shakes are soothed and you just feel cared for.) As the various concoctions were delivered via my port the nurse went over lots of information on each drug with us. I was able to read from my e-reader and also ordered lunch. My cancer center offers a meal if your treatment is over a certain length of time. I knew it would be important to keep my protein levels up and wanted to make sure I had some food in my system to help absorb all of the chemicals going in, so I took advantage of the meal.

After a little over 2 hours in the treatment area, we were done. That was it. I did leave with a medical device that would give me a shot to stimulate my white blood cell production a little after 24 hours from completing of chemo. When we got home we decided to go for a walk. You are encouraged to stay as active as possible while receiving treatment. It is good to keep your body moving and also gets those drugs moving through your system. It felt good to be out in the fresh air!

We returned home and rang in the new year early with our own devices on the couch. (Even in good health, Matt and I are not big party animals, so this seemed the perfect ending to our year.) The days following treatment I felt a bit whoozy, but otherwise okay. The fourth day was my worst for nausea and just feeling crummy. Since the kids were still gone, I just took it east and puttered around the house. (In fact the kids were supposed to come back, but one of them had a fever, and we just didn't want to risk infecting me, so they stayed a few extra days at grandma and grandpa's.)
Thankfully after day four I felt better and better everyday, with the exception of picking up a cold. By Monday I felt normal in the best possible way. I am really trying to limit my exposure to germs with my depleted immune system. The flu season is nasty this year and there are plenty of other yucky things going around out there. I am living like a hermit. Groceries are being ordered and delivered to my house or car. I am getting even better at ordering things on line as well. I have streamed a Sunday worship service the last two weeks. I miss seeing people and being out and about, but it just isn't worth getting sick.